Winter Solstice

On a cold crisp night
With a hazy cloud forecast,
The faint starlight was only noticeable by a quint of the eye.
I’m not sure if it was the energy of the bluffs and native burial ground,
Or if it was the feeling of your heavy chest heartbeat, up and down in sync with my body and soul.
I move closer to you, with meditative inhales.
I feel the sage burning inside my nostrils and deep cry shivers begin to fill my mind, fill my lungs, and fill my heart.
I can’t let you let know, because we aren’t supposed to be here. This isn’t really happening. Secretly I wish you would feel me, feel my desire and pain. I want you to guess correctly in your mind and take me in your arms, never letting go.
Inhale. Exhale. Clear my mind and connect to the energy out there. I feel it, I feel something racing through my veins. Sage burning deeper in my soul, “clear me out, cleanse me” I ponder to myself.
Firefly specs fly all over the place and light up the white monotonous ground. I watch you as the last remnants of sage smoke smolder in the snow, leaving a dusk like quality to the ground, filled with colors and transition.
Orange sparkle candy, like pieces of starburst cover the ground. I watch them as the flames go out. I wonder if your flame has escaped your body, cause inside my passion for burns bright. One light lasts longer than the rest, giving me small hope.
Thick dense smoke elevates to the heavens and it’s time forums to leave. I don’t want to go, I want to stay here, in this moment with you forever, it feels like comfort.
The comfortable silence between us is the change of winter. The death of self. The rebirth of soul.
I may not ever find that with someone again. I watch as you leave to the train and a tear rolls down my face.
The winter solstice has come and gone.