Rain, but no Irises

It has since been a month from my return to the United States, and I feel empty and unresolved. Although I am finally coming to terms with my life here, I left my heart and part of my soul there. I spend much of my days at home thinking and watching countless hours of t.v. courtesy of Netflix.  I find a simple joy in spending time with my niece, Savannah, who happily takes over my bed at night.  I see an unabashed enthusiasm in her eyes for the new and undiscovered things in her life.  Sometimes I’m jealous, I wish had that energy and excitement.  The weather here has been dreadful, cold and rainy.  Despite the hours of rain, I find that the love and passion of my heart no longer blooms.  I left that with him, and now we are not speaking, the insides of me are drowning in my rainy sorrow.  I am a 31-year-old dependent with no car, no money, no job, no phone, no boy and no sex.  I fear that the only sunshine in my life comes from  Savannah, which is nice, but not enough to pull me out of my muddy terrain.  When will my irises bloom again?

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